Speaking With Wisdom
Written by Ed Allen
Saturday, 15 July 2000 19:00
It's inevitable. Whenever Diane and I get into an argument we will eventually end up arguing about who said what. I can't for the life of me figure out why Diane can't remember what she says.
I don't know of a single marriage counselor who would not say that communication is one of the most critical issues in the health of a marriage. The same thing is true for organizations. Perhaps the most critical issue in the development of a corporate culture is the effectiveness of office communication. In fact, a whole industry has arisen out of the need to improve corporate communication. A simple internet search revealed four consulting companies who do nothing but advice companies how to improve corporate communications, including Communications Inc. in New Jersey and Worktalk Communications Consulting in Venice CA.
The same thing is true for our church. Effective communication is crucial. At Gateway we have said that it is our mission to be a place where people can experience authentic Christian community. We cannot possibly do that unless we learn to communicate effectively. If we're going to have any chance of being what God wants us to be, if we're going to have the kind of marriages he wants us to have, if we're going to have friendships that last, if we're going to be able to raise healthy children, if we're going to build authentic community, then we must learn to speak with wisdom to one another.
The Bible has something to say about speaking with wisdom and I believe it is critically important for us to hear it. Today we're going to look at 3 reasons why speaking with wisdom is important. Then we'll look at a good guideline for wise speech or the most important feature of wise speech. Thirdly, we will look at the most blatant example of unwise, damaging speech. Lastly, I want to look at a practical plumb line against which we can measure our speech.
James 3:1-12, 4:11-12
NRS James 3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. 4 Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, 8 but no one can tame the tongue-- a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.
11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers and sisters. Whoever speaks evil against another or judges another, speaks evil against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. So who, then, are you to judge your neighbor?
1. The Importance of speaking with wisdom
Background: teachers stirring up trouble
A. Your speech impacts your whole character.
- V. 2 "if you can control your speech you can control your whole self."
- and V. 6b "evil speech corrupts the whole person."
- "You are what you eat." No! "You are what you say"
- What you say really does matter. It is of greatest importance. In another place the Bible makes the same point positively. Romans 10:9-10
B. Your speech has huge potential for harm.
- When we sense that our children are having problems communicating, we send them to a speech pathologist. We should have speech pathologists in the church to help us deal with people who consistently communicate unwisely, because unwise speech has huge potential for harm.
- The tongue is like small thing with great power (V. 3-6)
- Horse ? with a bit
- Ship ? with a rudder
- Forest fire ? starts with a spark
- "And is itself set on fire by hell." Difficult phrase, but seems to mean that harmful unwise speech comes from a deeper spiritual problem.
C. Your speech is difficult to control.
- It is, of course, true that we cannot control the direction of what we say. When we say something and it comes into the hands of others we have no control over that. In that sense, our speech is hard to control.
- But here, James is suggesting something far more frightening than that. According to James, we cannot even control our own speech out of our own mouths. (V. 7-8)
- We would do well to remember Proverbs 10:19 "When words are many, sin is not absent, but the one who holds their tongue is wise."
2. The Most Important feature of wise speech
- Then James summarizes the matter and gives us the most important feature of wise speech. (V. 9-12)
- The most important feature of wise speech is integrity. You need to say the same things in front of everybody and on all occasions.
a. church friends, business friends
b. church friends, school friends
c. before someone's face, behind their back
3. A Critical Example of Unwise, Damaging Speech
- James ends this entire section with a critical example of unwise, damaging speech.
- Last year the Texas Cattle Feeder's Association sued Oprah Winfrey for her on-air comment following something one of her guests said. "It has just stopped me from eating another burger," Oprah concluded. They lost their suit. Afterwards, Oprah's comment was, "free speech not only lives, it rocks." When Burt Rutherford a spokesperson for the Cattle Feeder's Association was asked about Oprah's comment, he said, "It never was a case of free speech. It was a case of responsible speech." In our relationships with one another, the Bible agrees. The issue is not free speech, but wise speech.
- The word "slander" literally means to speak evil of." We should never speak evil of one another. When we do, we place ourselves over the other person in a position of superiority. And we place ourselves in a superior position to God's law.
4. How do we avoid it?
When there is difficulty and struggle and conflict, how do we speak of the other party without speaking evil? If our speech is difficult to control, what guidelines can we use to help us speak with wisdom?
I like what a pastor named Alan Redpath recommended. (Alan Redpath, A Passion for Preaching. Christianity Today, Vol. 34, no. 11) Before we speak we should always THINK.
T ? is it true? Do I or does someone else suspect this? Then we don't know it to be true?
H ? is it helpful? There has to be a reason for the information I am sharing.
I ? is it inspiring? Does this build up the hearer?
N ? is it necessary? Do I have to share this? If it is negative, can it be withheld?
K ? is it kind?