Diagnosing The Problem:

Written by Ed Allen
 Saturday, 14 November 1998 19:00

Building Great Relationships

We will begin by diagnosing the problem. If we all need and want relationships, why aren?t we better at forming them?

  • Why do children cry when they are not invited to the latest party? Why do young people join gangs and hate groups and sororities?
  • George Barna ? all three generations value sense of community.
  • Ashbriar cookout.

If we all want a sense of community, and if we recognize our need for great relationships, why don?t more of us have them? Why do we so often feel alone? Why do we experience awkwardness and conflict?

Before we can look at building great relationships, we need to first diagnose the problem. We need to see what is at the root of our deficiency in building such relationships.

The problem according to the Bible is sin. Sin is seeking pleasure, satisfaction or meaning outside of a relationship with God.

Sin damages our ability to build good relationships. Let?s look at how and why.

  • 1) The progression of sin
    • Genesis 3:1-6
    • Introduces a question
    • Wonder what they think of you?
    • Wonder if you?re better than that person?
    • Wonder ?
      •
    • Misinforms
    • Everybody?s doing it so it must be okay.
    • God will forgive you just this one more time.
    • You can?t help yourself.
    • You?ve done this so many times, no sense in resisting.
      •
    • Eve notice
    • Eve considers
    • Eve acts on the temptation


  • 2) The consequences
    • Inhibiting self-awareness
    • 3:7-11
    • What might the fig leaves represent?
      •
    • Self interest
    • 3:12-13
      •
    • Difficulty in relationship


    3) And so ?

    • I can accept.
    Myself
    • Sin is universal.
    • Sin is comprehensive (touches everything we do). Doesn?t mean we?re as bad as we can be, but it means that all our actions carry at least a hint of self-centeredness.
    • Admit I?m not perfect.
    • Accept my imperfections.
      •
    Others
    • If I?m not perfect, how can I expect others to be?
      •
    • I can take responsibility.
    Everything we have just said gives us an explanation, but not an excuse.

    Some of us are experts at the blame game. It?s never our fault.
    1. Never seen a marriage break up where both people weren?t at fault.
    2. Jesus asking the man do you want to be healed. In part forcing him to take responsibility.
      3.
    • I can ask for help
    12-step programs suggest that we admit we are powerless.
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