Jesus I Know Forgives Me
Written by Ed Allen
Tuesday, 05 June 2001 19:00
You know, I imagine again a friend of mine, someone that I've met just on the street, someone I've met at a restaurant or someone that I've met maybe through one of my kids, maybe through one of our soccer teams, call me up "Hey, Ed. Could you meet me at Starbucks, I just want to talk about some things." I say ok, so we arranged the time, I go to Starbucks we sit down and he says, "Tell me about Jesus." And I think I want to tell him a couple of stories. I want to illustrate a powerful truth about Jesus, the Jesus I know. The Jesus that I have come to know. I want to illustrate that, so I tell him about Jennifer Thompson. Jennifer Thompson was a cute, petite, blonde-headed girl. She grew up, interestingly, on my wife Diane's street. She was younger than Diane. Of course, Diane and I are roughly the same age; we've been married a number of years; got married when we were 13. Which would explain how the both of us are only 29 now.
But a number of years ago, Jennifer was homecoming queen at the local high school. At 22 she was living in Greensboro, NC and late one night she was stalked. Stalked by a large black guy, who followed her into her apartment building, held her at knife point, raped her and brutalized her. The police would later call Jennifer the perfect witness, because she was determined to remember everything about her attacker. In fact, at one point during the attack she fooled him into turn the light on in the room. She made sure she knew if there were any scratches, any scars, any identifying tattoos. She new every single contour of his face and the sound of his voice. Several months later, when the police had finally rounded up the person who they thought was their man, one at a time they brought them in to meet Jennifer. Not in a lineup with Jennifer behind the glass, but she wanted to face her confronter. They sat across the table from her. One at a time the police brought them in, finally the fifth one they brought Ronald Cotton in and each time they asked the man sitting in front of her to say to Jennifer what he had said that night "shut up or I'm going to kill you". Ronald Cotton came in, sat down at the table opposite the table and said "shut up or I'm going to kill you". Jennifer stood up and said "that's the man".
Ronald Cotton was a little confused about the details of the night that the rape had happened. It also happens that Ronald Cotton had on his record a prior, not conviction, but he had been accused of sexual misconduct. Ronald Cotton had claimed innocence and in fact had been found not guilty. He said he was the object of police prejudice. He was a black man who liked to be with white woman. So he felt he was picked up for that reason. He was eventually found not guilty, but the police did suspect him. They brought Ronald in, felt like they had their man, and Jennifer identified him.
The only other thing besides the fact he couldn't nail down an alibi was some foam was missing from his shoe that seemed to roughly match. They weren't sure it was an exact match, but it seemed to roughly match foam from the inside a shoe at the crime scene. But aside from the fairly weak circumstantial evidence they had the powerful first hand testimony of the perfect witness in Jennifer Thompson. On January 17, 1985, Ronald Cotton was sentenced to life in prison. He wrote letters everyday to Congress people, lawyers, police, whoever would listen, proclaiming his innocence. Ronald Cotton would eventually serve 11 years in prison, wrongly accused by the perfect witness. Months after Ronald Cotton was put in prison, federal prison to serve a life sentence, Bobby Poole was brought into the prison and he was serving two life sentences for two rapes near by. He began to brag throughout the prison that Ronald Cotton was serving part of his time.
But Ronald Cotton was a believer and he had been able to bring himself to the point where he could forgive Jennifer Thompson, because his parents would constantly counsel him "think of what she has been through, this poor girl. Think of her plight." He brought himself to the point where he could actually forgive Jennifer Thompson. But he couldn't forgive Bobby Poole. So with the help of some friends, Ronald Cotton fashioned a blade and he hatched a plan, during which he was going to kill Bobby Poole in prison. Coincidentally, his father came to visit him on the day of the plan. Came to visit him, and Ronald couldn't keep it to himself, so he told his dad what he was going to do. And his dad urged him, "put the blade away, let it go, and forgive him". How can I forgive him dad? I'm serving HIS sentence and he's bragging about it! He's told everybody in the prison. He knows he's guilty. I know he's guilty. I'm serving time for his crime! Dad and Ronald got on their knees and prayed together. Ronald gave Dad the blade. Dad walked out with it. Ronald decided to let go of the anger and bitterness in his heart and forgive.
You know what I thought? That reminds me of the Jesus I know. The Jesus I know was completely innocent. He suffered for a crime that he didn't commit. The Jesus I know hung on a cross and said "Father, forgive them. Father, forgive the ones who have put me here and Father forgive all of those in the future for whose crime I am being convicted." I'm reminded of two more stories from the life of Jesus himself. The first one comes from Mark, Chapter 2. Now if you have read the biographies of Jesus, you may remember this story. Mark, Chapter 2: Jesus fairly early in his ministry, is travelling throughout the villages in Galilee and this is what happened: A few days later when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left. There of course weren't large buildings at Capernaum; Jesus may have been in a mid-sized home, we don't know exactly what. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd they made an opening in the roof above Jesus probably some kid of thatched roof that they had to dig through. After digging through it, they lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Unbelievable! You see this paralytic lived in a world where he was taught to believe that he was paralyzed because he was a sinner. He had done something wrong so God was punishing him and this was the proof of God's punishment. Jesus wanted him to know that his sins, real or imagined, were forgiven, wiped away, white as snow. Now some teachers of the Lord were sitting there thinking to themselves, why does this fellow talk like that. He's blaspheming. Who can forgive sins but God alone. Indeed, why did they think Jesus was blaspheming? Because he had forgiven sin. Let's understand the nature of forgiveness.
Periodically on a Sunday morning I'll say this. Here is goes again: if you miss everything else, don't miss this. The nature of forgiveness: the forgiver in forgiveness absorbs the burden. The forgiver assumes the loss. The forgiver doesn't ask the forgiven to pay; the forgiver assumes the loss. That's what Jesus did. You know, if you forgive a debt?if I owe Don a huge amount of money and Don decides to forgive me my debt, Don in essence absorbs the loss. That's Don's money. I owe that money to Don, it is rightfully his. Don absorbs the loss and I never pay him back. The forgiver assumes the burden.
Mark Twain said "Forgiveness is the fragrance the flower leaves on the heel of the one who crushed it". The forgiver assumes the debt. That's why they thought it was blasphemy. Nobody had the right to assume this guys debt but God. Yet Jesus says, your sins are forgiven. Jesus offers God's forgiveness. That's the first point we need to know about the Jesus I know. Jesus offers God's forgiveness to you and I. Jesus has the authority to forgive sin. So if you want forgiveness this morning, go see Jesus. You may have to cut through your schedule. You may have to get alone with Him. You may have to stop your life for a while. You may have to cut through the roof. You may even need some friends to carry you, but if you need forgiveness this morning, go see Jesus, because Jesus offers God's forgiveness. The Jesus I know forgives me.
My third story is from John, Chapter 8. This may be one of my favorite stories about Jesus in all of his biographies. It's only listed in the book of John, so let me read it for you. But when Jesus went to the Mount of Olives, at dawn He appeared again in the temple court where all the people gathered around him and He sat down to teach them. So Jesus is in Jerusalem, the capital city, He's in the temple court, His crowd has gathered around him. The teachers of the law and Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and they said to Jesus. "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such woman. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, John tells us, in order to have a basis for accusing him. They tried to trap Jesus. If he said to the group, let her go, this would be a violation of the law and all the conservatives in the group would begin to whisper "he's really a liberal". If he said, stone her, he would show a gross lack of compassion and all the liberals in the group would begin to whisper "he's a right-wing conservative".
They new they had him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them "If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time. The older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman, standing still there. That's one of those little details that I love in the scriptures, "the older ones left first". You know I think they were smart and experienced enough to realize that they had just been checkmated.
Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" Now let's understand first of all that, they were right. The law did say when someone was caught in adultery bring them out and stone them. They were absolutely right. Of course, it was rarely practiced, but they were right legally. "Has no one condemned you?" "No one, Sir" she said in amazement perhaps. Shock. Overwhelmed with gratitude. "Then neither do I" Jesus declared. Jesus not only offered God's forgiveness, Jesus offered God's freedom. The Jesus I know offers God's freedom. Freedom first of all from guilt. Neither do I condemn you, Jesus said.
I like what one author says, "Error is the inevitable consequence of living. Mutual error is the inevitable consequence of living together. Argument or fact finding is the defence mechanism to preserve an ego in trouble. Confession is the sacrifice of ego on the alter of love. Forgiveness is the balm of healing that soothes and heals the wounds of error. Joy is the fresh new path stretching out before the forgiver and forgiven." Neither do I condemn you Jesus said. He offers freedom from guilt.
Now I've got some tough news. It's tough news for all of us this morning, we all need this. You know I empathize with this woman standing before Jesus. I've been accused liked that before. I don't know if you have, but I suspect that you have. I've been accused like that before. I've even been accused like that by Diane. "Why you so and so, why didn't you do so and so." Now admittedly, most of the time she is wrong. But once in a while, she's absolutely right! I've been accused by some of you. You didn't do so and so. You didn't start so and so. You made some really bad decisions on you so and so. And you were right. And you know what I felt when I walked away? Guilty. For some of you it's happened this week. I have a friend who used to call it "getting swined". You've been at work this week and you got swined. Somebody walked into your office and dumped all over you. And not only did they dump, they were right. And you know what you felt afterwards? Guilty. As if you didn't already have enough, you had a brand new burden to bear.
You know what I'm looking at this morning? I'm looking at some gossips. Somebody this week was telling how gossipy an atmosphere they think Gateway is. I think they're right. I'm looking at people who have stretched the truth to the point where it is no longer recognizable. That's a nice way of saying you're a liar. I'm looking at people who have no regard for the feelings of others, who always find someway to put themselves first. I'm looking at people who have addictions, of all kinds. I'm looking at people who have things in their past; maybe this week, maybe last night. You'd be horrified and embarrassed if you new them. I'm looking at adulterers. I'm looking at murderers. Jesus said if you had hate, even in your heart, you're a murder. I'm looking at a room full of murderers. You're guilty. You and I are standing right with that woman. With a crowd of people carrying their law books, all surrounding us, and they've got big rocks and they want to swine us. You know, "you didn't do very well when you did so and so". And they're right. When we're guilty there are a variety of options for us. Not too many, but there are some.
Option #1 - we can run. We could busy ourselves. We can avoid our accusers. We can dismiss our accusers. Oh that ol' Lyle - he's wacky anyway. What does he know. Let's disregard the fact that he's right. Oh what does he know. What does Terri know. She's crazy anyway. I mean look at her - she's crazy! Who would believe her. We can dismiss our accusers; we can busy ourselves, we can avoid them, we can run.
Option #2 - we can deny it. We can get defensive. We can promote ourselves. With a certain category of folks those that are closest to me this is my favorite response to guilt. Defensiveness. As soon as Diane accuses me of anything - bang - I'm ready to go.
Option #3 - this is an option by the way, that I never take. But I see it in some of you. We can assume all of the guilt and our shoulders get heavier and heavier. How ya doing? Oh, okay. We all know how you're doing - lousy! And we get heavier and heavier, we just carry that guilt around with us.
And there's a fourth option - take it to Jesus. Because the Jesus I know offers freedom from guilt. Not only freedom from guilt, the Jesus I know offers freedom from sin. Listen to what else he says to this woman, "Neither do I condemn you, Jesus declared, go now and leave your life of sin."
As Diane and I have prepared our budget over the last number of years, we've realized one of the priorities for us, one of the things that we've go to do is debt reduction. If you do a very good job of doing your budget, then you've got a line item that services your debt. There it is staring you in the face; you're continuing to pay for lack of discipline or for circumstances or whatever in your past. Periodically I'll look at that, I'll scratch my head and I think, man, what we could do if we could just erase that line. That in effect is what Jesus is offering us this morning. There's nothing we can do to earn it. There's nothing we can do to get God's freedom - it's all grace, but God does ask us to respond. So when he reduces the debt, when he eliminates that line item from our budget then he asks us "Ok, now go live right. Go make your budget work. Here's that extra $150 every month or $600 for some of you, or $1000 to service your debt. Here's that extra money; it's yours. Now go make it right. Don't go and recreate that debt; don't go and put yourself back in the same place again." And you and I do it over and over again don't we. We place ourselves in the same position morally in debt, over and over again. He erases that line for us and asks us to respond by saying go now, live well, be free. What you wanted to save for - do it, save for it. He's offering us in his right hand, the Bible says, pleasures forever. Go enjoy them. He offers us freedom from sin.
I'd like to say to my friend sitting across me at Starbucks. I'd like to say, you know what, it's not too good to be true. It seems like it is, but it's not too good to be true. Admit your own culpability before God. Admit your guilt before God. Don't run, don't dismiss it, don't avoid it, don't be defensive, don't carry it. Admit your culpability before God. Agree with God about the truth of Jesus and what He has done for us. He has taken your guilt on his shoulders. Admit, agree and then accept his forgiveness and freedom. The Jesus I know offers God's forgiveness. The Jesus I know offers God's freedom.
I also imagine that my friend, and I know some who would do this, my friend might be the kind of person maybe you are who would say to me "I've asked too many times. I ask and then I end up in debt again. I end up in the same place. How in the world can I ask again." I want you to know that this is just another form of guilt. Right? It's just another form of guilt and guilt is one of those things from which Jesus sets us free. He never put any limits on the freedom that he offers.
Some of you need to come again this morning for another fresh start and all he requires is that you fully admit and fully resolve to live free of the debt that he is erasing and he once again offers forgiveness.
That's the Jesus I know, over and over again offering God's forgiveness for freedom. We need but except. Finally I say to my friend, "Ok, now go live a new life. Leave your old habit. Whatever drove you to sit across the table from me at Starbucks, whatever brought you here, whatever burden you're bearing, leave it here and go free. Go live a new life." You may need to leave some relationship. You may need to leave some long standing trait. Ironically, some of you may need to leave your own unforgiveness. There are those this morning who are carrying unforgiveness. That's part of your guilt. I like what C.S. Lewis says, he's one of my favorite authors and C.S. Lewis one time speaking about his own unforgiveness he said "You know, I used to think it was __________ when I was little, and I would hear Sunday School teachers say, love the sinner but hate the sin. I thought how was that possible until I as I got older I realized that there was one person with whom I consistently did that - me. Over and over again I was brought to the recognition of my own sin and yet continued to except and love myself. What right did I have not to do that for someone else! God asks us the same question. In fact, more than that he says I'm going to forgive really the way that you forgive others. Don't carry that burden with you. Don't carry that debt of guilt with you. Release your own accuser. Forgive. Remember, when he was hanging on the cross Jesus asked nothing from those he forgave. He released them full and free, because forgiveness means the forgiver assumes the loss.
Eleven years after Jennifer Thompson had been the perfect witness, Ronald Cotton has ended up in prison. The Chief of Police went to Salem, NC came and knocked on her door. She opened the door and he had a horrified look on his face. He said Jennifer, I think you need to sit down. They went to her kitchen table, Jennifer sat down. He stared across the table at her and said Jennifer I've got some tough news. You accused the wrong man. Has providence would have it, for some reason - they never new this - they kept a sperm sample for eleven years based on this old case. Of course science had caught up and now it was possible to take that sample and do various, specific DNA analysis. They had done so, and it did not match Ronald Cotton. It matched instead, Bobby Poole, a known rapist who was already in prison for two other rapes at a similar time, very near to where Jennifer's rape had happened. Jennifer was devastated.
Ronald Cotton was released and it took Jennifer two years before she could face him. She called her minister and the local Chief of Police and as soon as she called the Chief of Police he answered the phone and said "I know what you want. You want to see Ronald Cotton." She said I do. They went to see Ronald Cotton. They met at Ronald Cotton's church. Of course that was the source of Ronald Cotton's strength. When they got to the church Jennifer asked the Chief of Police and her minister if they would wait outside while she went in to meet Ronald Cotton alone. She went in and couldn't face him. She literally fell down before him. Ronald Cotton picked her up, hugged her and said "I forgive you. All I want you to do is to live a good life". A direct quote. That's like the Jesus I know. They talked for six hours. The Police Chief and the pastor sitting outside! She came outside, when they got outside Ronald Cotton embraced her. They hugged for a long time. Jennifer drove home to her life, he to his.
They are still very good friends today. In fact, they have appeared together on Nightline and the Oprah Winfrey show. Some of you may have read her story. I read her story about three months ago in the Washington Post. I got in touch with the author of the story and asked her to email Jennifer a request to see if I could interview her. I sent this woman an email, attached with a letter to Jennifer. I'm still hoping Jennifer will contact me so that we can hear from Jennifer or Ronald one day. I included in the letter "by the way you grew up near my wife Diane" however, the author of the story - she was an Associated Press writer - she said, "you know, I've been writing for AP for 25 years, I've never gotten more response to a story than this one. I've been inundated with television stations and newspapers wanting to interview Jennifer. I don't know if she'll be able to respond to you." Of course, I thought she's going to see Diane's name and say okay! I haven't heard from her, needless to say.
But I do know the end of the story. Jennifer helped Ronald with a lawsuit against NC. It was their law to give someone wrongly accused $10,000. Jennifer and Ronald won a lawsuit for $150,000 for Ronald. Today he and his wife and daughter live in Nevin, NC. Bobby Poole, after several months of becoming intimate and building a deep friendship with Ronald Cotton, Jennifer realized that if Ronald Cotton had forgiven her - no, no - if Jesus had forgiven her, then she had no right not to forgive Bobby Poole. It took all of her strength, all of her courage to unload, to unload that burden. To unload that moral debt, and let God forgive her for not forgiving. A hard thing to say, but she realized it was true. And she wrote Bobby Poole. She said, "Bobby, I want to meet you. I'm the woman that you raped eleven years ago. I faced you with courage and bravery that night, you never asked my permission, now I ask you to face me. I have something important that I want to offer you." Bobby Poole never responded. Three years later he died of cancer in a prison in NC. I think he was eaten alive by the guilt that the Jesus I know wanted to set him free from. Don't carry that guilt with you this morning. Don't leave here carrying the burden that Jesus gladly bears. Give it to Him. The Jesus I know offers forgiveness. Full and free. The Jesus I know offers freedom.