The Price of Worry

Written by Ed Allen
Saturday, 13 October 2001 19:00

The Myths That Bankrupt Your Joy

THE TRUTH ABOUT WORRY Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable - Part 2 of 6

Bill is a worrywart. Bill was worried about his health so he went to see his doctor. His doctor said, "Bill, you have nothing to worry about. You're going to live until you're 60." Bill said, "But doctor I am 60." The doctor said, "See, I told you so." So Bill decided he should go home to see his parents. After all, life is so uncertain and they were elderly. But Bill hates to fly, so he decided to take a train. He got worried about the train trip though, so he decided to take out some additional life insurance. The night before his trip he went out for Chinese dinner. After dinner, he was given a fortune cookie that said, "A recent investment will pay great dividends." Some of you know Bill. Some of you live with Bill. Some of you are Bill. We all succumb to serious worry at various points in our lives. Almost one in four of us at some point in our lives will be so worried that we meet the criteria for one of a variety of diagnosable anxiety disorders. These disorders include but are not limited to panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder and generalized phobic disorder. Even those of us who do not seek treatment for an anxiety disorder know what it means to be swamped by worry. As a culture, we worry most about our children. Our second worry is money. Third is job security. Our fourth most frequent worry is the state of our relationships. In fact, Dr. David Barlow, the director of the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University, said that we are a culture of worrywarts. According to Dr. Barlow, "Your sense that events are out of control and potentially dangerous seems to be at the core of aniety." We are in our second week of a series of lessons aimed at destroying the myths that make us miserable. This morning we want to look at the myth that if I worry about it, then I can control it. We need to hear what Jesus says about this belief. Let's start by defining our terms. There is a legitimate and helpful concern. This kind of concern leads us to action like changing the tires, or getting that mole on our back examined, or having someone check the roof. But when that concern becomes a habitual thought or when that concern paralyses us, we are calling that worry. So let's hear what Jesus says about worry.

Read Matthew 6:25-34 1. Worry is unreasonable. Everyday we make decisions that involve uncertainty. So one of the little compromises we make is to trade off an appropriate concern and passion for those things that are most important for a controlling emphasis on those things, which are secondary but over which we can legitimately exercise control. We trade off being concerned with what is essential and out of my control, for worrying over what is non-essential, but seems controllable. In other words, instead of devoting myself to core relationships, or to the health issue, which I cannot control, I worry about a new dress or what's for dinner or how I can rearrange my stock portfolio so as to maximize my profit. Unfortunately, when I get the new dress or have a wonderful dinner or create greater stock profits, I still do not really have what I long for. So I find something else to worry about. Jesus asks us, "Isn't this all unreasonable? Isn't life more than food or drink? Aren't there more important issues than fashion? You trade in your passion for what is essential, for a cheap substitute - that is, you trade in a legitimate zeal for an unreasonable worry over what is not of critical importance anyway." To illustrate his point, Jesus encourages us to do some bird watching. "Look at the birds," he says. And when we do, here's what we observe: Birds Ed No attempt to control constant desire/need to control No frenetic activity designed to Constant activity attempting to provide secure their life and future security They are provided for I am worried Worry is unreasonable. It doesn't make any sense. 2. Worry is unhelpful. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Worry doesn't do any good, Jesus contends. In fact over the long term it does great harm. Chronic worry is associated with higher risk of heart disease, elevated blood pressure, musculoskeletal aches and pains, gastrointestinal disturbances Think about the time and energy we waste responding to our worries and fears. Are my children going to be well liked? Should I let them watch this TV show? Am I going to loose my job? How will we pay the mortgage? Should I switch jobs or is that a copout? Should we replace the tires? Buy a new car? Is my husband having an affair? What is that pain I feel in my chest? How do I deal with that strong sexual attraction for that man at our church? Do I confess it to my husband? Should I use anti-depressant medication? Isn't trusting God supposed to be enough? Will I ever find someone to marry or will I always be single? How can I manage that meeting at work? Where am I going to get the money to replace the furnace? And all of our worrying does not advance the cause of any of those concerns one bit. Proverbs 12:25 says, "An anxious heart weighs a person down." And in the opposite direction, Proverbs 14:30 says, "A heart at peace gives life to the body." Worrying is unhelpful.

3. Worrying is unfaithful. Not only so, but worrying is unfaithful. READ VV. 28 - 30 Peaking out behind every sentence of Jesus' teaching is an understanding of God that completely obliterates worry. If we get a sense of what Jesus is saying and let it take hold of our lives, it will give us what one Biblical author calls the "peace that passes all understanding." If we let Jesus' understanding of God govern our lives and our choices - which is, by the way, what the Bible means by faith - we will have no worries. Jesus shows us a God who desires to be in such a close relationship with us that we can call him Father. Think of a father's love and concern for the welfare, happiness and security of his children. This is the depth of God's love for us. But this love is also profoundly intimate. God longs to dress us up like a field full of beautiful wild flowers. But Jesus not only expands our vision of God, he clarifies our vision of ourselves. Nothing in all of creation commands more of God's concern then we do. The birds of the air, the lilies of the field - we are of more value than both. Of all that we can see in the world around us, only we are immortal. And God values us deeply. He is more concerned about our needs than we are ourselves. So Jesus looks at our worry as a sign of "little faith." Because if we saw the world appropriately, if we saw how much God loves us and how valuable we are to him, we would not worry. Worry is not a time problem - as in, I don't have enough time. Worry is a faith problem. "You don't get it," Jesus seems to say. "If you only understood who God is and who you are, you would not be the least bit worried." Worrying is unfaithful.

4. Worrying is unchristian. I know many of you claim to believe in God. You like to think that that belief makes a difference in your life. But by your worrying, you prove that you are no different than the people around you. "Even the pagans worry like that," Jesus says. I like that phrase "run after these things." That is a fairly accurate description of life in Northern Virginia. We run after first one thing and then another. There simply aren't enough hours in the day. How am I going to get it all done? I'm so busy and I've been really uptight lately. That's the way many of us live. We would like to do better, but with all the kids activities and the long commute and the housework, we worry about getting it all done. But we should know that Jesus says that kind of lifestyle is unchristian. THE REMEDY Why do we live our lives at such a frenetic pace? It's not because of the commute. We chose the commute. It's not because of the kid's activities. Just ask the families without kids. We live our lives at a frenetic pace because we are motivated by fear and not by faith. I like how one Christian counselor assessed our condition. "The governing emotional energy in the unregenerate human personality is fear. Our problems are really quite beyond our capacity to solve. We cannot control what matters most to us. The plans we make will work nicely only if factors beyond our control do not interfere. Our lives ultimately are not in our hands. So with good reason we fear what might happen." So, in an effort to deal with that fear we allow ourselves the luxury of living under the power of the myth that if I worry about it, then I can control it. This is a myth! But it exercises great influence over us nonetheless. So what is the remedy? 1. I MUST PUT GOD FIRST IN MY LIFE. ? Make God my operating system; make God the principle around which my life is organized; make God the theme of my life. ? Seek first His kingdom - (explain kingdom) All these things will be given to you. God knows what we need. He's not saying don't worry because the circumstances of life are unimportant. No! He says, don't worry because it doesn't work - it's unreasonable. Don't worry because it's damaging and not at all helpful. Don't worry because God is so powerful and you are so important, He will take care of you. Worry represents a misunderstanding of that truth. And finally, don't worry because it's not what followers of Jesus do. But this doesn't mean that the substance of your worries are unimportant! It simply means that God will take care of those things for you if you focus on following Him! ? Interesting that the advice begins with this - and not something like exercise. Exercise is great, but unless it frees me to focus on God, my relief will be temporary. 2. I MUST LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME. There are 2 days of the week we should never worry about - yesterday and tomorrow. Again, this is not because yesterday and tomorrow are not important. It is because yesterday and tomorrow are out of our control. They are in God's hands. I have known alcoholics and drug addicts who have made it through very, very dark days following this one piece of advice. Some of you know this piece of wisdom and have made it work for you. So if your mind is full of worries now, who derailed you? Who turned you aside from the path of peace? There is a lot to worry about in the future. Fortunately, God only gives it to us one day at a time. And for that one day, he gives us all the grace we need. So I must live one day at a time if I'm going to destroy the myth that I can control it if I worry about it. 3. I MUST CHOOSE TRUST. Without question this is a risky strategy. What if God doesn't come through for me? After all, doesn't God help those who help themselves? I better take care of it myself and what I can't take care of, then I'll ask God to help me. This is awful theology. There's no way around it, faith involves risk. I have to choose to believe God. I have to choose trust over control. Christian psychologist Larry Crabb summarized our dilemma like this : "We live in sheer dread of giving up control ? but the search to discover God requires that we abandon ourselves, that we give up control of what matters most and that we place our confidence in Someone we cannot manage." My desire for control is an illusion. I have no control. There are simply too many variables beyond my influence. And the longer I live under the slavery of the myth that I can have control, the longer worry will exercise considerable power over me. I must put God first in my life. I must live one day at a time. I must choose trust!

2 Chronicles 20